Newly Single Dating Blog

The companion site to

Newly Single Dating Blog - The companion site to

#dating Are newly single women of a certain age looking for younger love now?

According to the weekend’s newspapers, Monica Porter felt her life was over when her 60th birthday coincided with the end of her second marriage.

Divorce, bereavement, the empty nest, or leaving your job through redundancy or retirement will often make you reconsider your life.
Taking up a hobby or joining a club is often suggested as a way to combat this sadness so Monica could have joined her local WI or any other club.

But her way forward was to find hot young men online, who were blind dates, to have random sex with,
And then write a book about her encounters.
By the way, she sold her online dating profile as a younger age 54 singleton.
She obviously looked OK, or they mostly met in the dark as she didn’t mention any young men who ran away at first sighting.

Monica found that Technology and dating had changed dramatically since she was previously single. The number of on-line dating websites and apps was confusing to her as was the quality of the age 60-something newly single men she encountered who time and age had not treated kindly.
Nonetheless she soldiered on.

According to Monica, there were dozens of hot single young men out there aged 20-30, all ready and willing for sex with older women. For them, the “zipless encounter” is less about a thrilling fantasy and more about saving time – a bit of slap & tickle then home before Match of the Day……….and also maybe money.
Monica bought the drinks and she took her young lovers to her own flat.

She wrote, “My experiment took me down some shadowy and chancy, not always wholesome, but always thoroughly invigorating rabbit holes”
thus shining a new light on Watership Down and another layer of meaning to the phrase- At It Like Rabbits.

Never wise to take a total stranger to your home for sex after a 45 minutes acquaintance in a bar.
At least one encounter took a frightening turn and she was lucky not to be seriously assaulted or worse.

After a year, ( or maybe that was the time the book publishers had given her to write the commissioned book)?
Monica realised her online pick-ups were treating her the same way she had regarded them.
Describing one lover as “So well-constructed I defy any red-blooded woman not to drool over the photo of him in his swimming trunks”
doesn’t suggest discussing Proust was on the agenda that evening.
She grumbled about the lack of “emotional value” which is illogical to say the least.

There’s a time and place for everything, including casual pick-ups between consenting adults.
As long as nobody is being exploited or deceived,
it’s very much your own business
Or you can make it everybody’s business by writing a book.

you can use an online dating website to find worthwhile relationships
where you get to know your possible partner, whatever his age,
But first and foremost as a friend
who values you as a person as much as you should value yourself.
Take note Monica,and all single ladies out there-

if you don’t value yourself- no-one else will…




#dating #singlewomen #sex & the single man

Another week
a new online date.

This time I met a man, 20 years older than me, who I have to admit was not unattractive and did look young for his age.
Although I do constantly wonder why British men don’t look after their teeth?
Don’t they care?
We agreed to only meet initially for a quick coffee and within the first 5 minutes the conversation had turned to his recent online dating life.

After hearing about his dating life, around 30 dates in the last couple of months which seemed rather a lot to me…..leaving your options open?
It seems that most of the single women he had met are way naughtier and promiscuous, than single men nowadays, especially those women in the age 50+ age group.

He told me that all of his recent dates had been very keen to progress the date further, telling him that they would love to see him again and not just schedule him in, but schedule him in around the current lovers they were already seeing. Moreover one of the women told him she held swingers’ parties in Mayfair, whilst the other women it seemed were, let’s say, very busy and satisfied- thank you!

Well I’m no prude, but frankly I was shocked by the apparent behaviour of these women.  This 72 year old man was neither super-rich (he didn’t actually even buy me a coffee on our fleeting meeting) nor super-good looking but nevertheless had been regularly propositioned.
Not by me.

Times have obviously changed.
It’s the women who have become the hunters.
The poor chaps haven’t got a chance! And this isn’t just confined to dating online dating.

#dating #onlinedating #blind-dates #chemistry #1stdate

Has anyone else who has on-line dated, noticed that on certain days of the year, like New Years Eve and Valentine’s Day, when we are all supposed to be happily coupled up, we purposely don’t log on-line that day but wait until the day after…… to save our “dating” face!
So with plans for a pending blind date Saturday 15th,  everything was left to be confirmed until the actual morning.

When you meet your blind date, how long does it take to decide whether you’d like to leave it at just a drink or continue your drink onto lunch or dinner?
Even if you don’t have that initial chemistry, you may still like to have a little longer to see if your date grows on you through personality rather than initial attraction.

So, within 10 minutes, when my date grabbed my hand across the table, looking into my eyes, saying, “what do you think, shall we meet again”? …
I was somewhat taken aback.

If you absolutely aren’t feeling it straight away, then of course the answer is no…..we won’t meet again,  but if you find your date good company, but maybe not initially sizzling hot!…you may still like to give him a little more time.Well at least wait until you’ve both finished your drinks to reply.

What would you have done?
How long do you take to decide if you’d like to have a 2nd date?
And what would you say to your date?

twitter: @datingwhenolder

#valentinesday #love #dating #singleonvalentinesday

Valentines Day, in my opinion, is a million times worse than Christmas Day in terms of commercialisation.  We get overwhelmed with offers of overpriced flowers, roses with no smell, restaurants offering a tweaked love-themed menu at a higher price and all sorts of random business promotions linked to Love.

This did not come from this day’s namesake Saint, St Valentine, who was apparently imprisoned and later executed for performing weddings for Roman soldiers.
I understand the need for tough soldiers not to be distracted from Imperial duty by stressing over table plans and dealing diplomatically with difficult mothers-in-law-to-be,  but executing the priest/wedding planner seems bit harsh….
No, the romantic love associations are the work of Geoffrey Chaucer, in his poem referring to birds choosing their mates on Valentine’s Day.  Therefore you can place the blame firmly on his shoulders for all cards and other Valentines Day tat.

Times are hard for businesses and high streets are struggling. My local shopping centre now mostly consists of charity shops – like so many towns today. They have all made gallant attempts at the Big V theme. Red paper hearts stuck on windows, all sorts of red clothing, teddy bears clutching felt hearts, presumably handed in by loyal customers recycling their own unwanted past Valentine collections.

According to a recent survey from a daily deals search engine, this is very much today’s mood. “Forget flowers and chocolates, love birds in the UK are buying heavily discounted jewellery and bargain lingerie”. This year’s top gift is a sterling silver personalised triple ring necklace which sounds OK to me. Not too sure though about the second gift on the list “Personalise my M&Ms” because the sweets aren’t that big: the names Amy or Andy might fit but what about Samantha or Jonathan? Suppose there’s a special message in the packet and you accidentally eat the crucial word? Could lead to a tense evening….So awkward…

When you’re single, Valentine’s Day is like New Year’s Eve, the worst day of the year to be single as it feels so publicly on show that you are actually single.

However confident we appear, everyone has vulnerable moments when the ads seem aimed at us personally, suggesting that the whole world is happily paired up – with one exception…..

Of course, there are ways to lift that lonely feeling. You could treat yourself to your own feel-good self-confidence boosting sexy NON cut-price undies, or simply indulge yourself in any way that makes you feel special and tell yourself Valentine’s Day is just a day – one day in the year, leaving 364 other days to find your special someone.

#Agegaplove right or wrong? #dating #datingwhenolder #love #Valentinesday #cougars

Today it’s still somehow more acceptable for a man to be older than his wife; perhaps dating from when women were financially dependent, first upon their fathers and then upon husbands to support them.

But how wide can an age gap be before people find it uncomfortable?

The documentary “She’s 78, he’s 39: Age Gap Love” addressed this question.
First up was Joan, 68, exercising vigorously while 29-year-old lover Phil played computer games upstairs. Joan’s husband had made her promise on his deathbed to get a breast enlargement. A rather odd dying wish but after 50 years of marriage, presumably he knew best what made her happy? (Some might also have suggested ditching the scary eyeliner…)
Apparently a bust measurement 43F makes clothes difficult to fit; given Joan’s petite frame, not tipping forwards might be on the problem list too. “I don’t want to look like mutton dressed as lamb” she said – understandable but hard to take seriously when she’d just bought a skin-tight leather studded mini-dress.

Equally fond of fashion statements was Edna, 78, knitting ferociously colourful tank-tops which husband Simon, 39, seemed happy to wear. Edna and Simon met through a shared love of the organ…. , (yes-organ music)and spent their time buying car boot-sale gifts for each other and eating ice creams.

Another couple we saw strolling hand-in-hand along the seafront at Brighton were Marilyn & William who were 45 and 16 respectively when they met eight years ago.  Happy together but frowned upon in the community.

Gary, 60, took Kate his 30 year old girlfriend to Ibiza to hit the club scene for her birthday.  Did he look out of place or did he care? Not a jot! Nor did she seem to notice he was the oldest in the crowd.
His adult children had difficulty accepting Kate at first. Not necessarily age-related – she moved in very soon after his marriage ended. Kate wasn’t worried about not having her own family, “I couldn’t stay at home doing nothing looking after children.” (Can confidently reassure her that looking after small children does not entail “doing nothing”.)

Meanwhile Mike, 74, and Lyndsey, 33, have a 3 year old son and adorable 2 month old daughter. The old chestnut “Are older fathers being selfish?” arose – as if younger fathers are always selfless and dedicated… Sweeping generalisations are pointless, illness can strike any at any age: two of the younger husbands had health problems which they said their older wives handled better than “young girls who panic”. None of us knows how long we’ll live but Mike was clearly determined to make whatever time he had with his little ones the best he could.

Of course it’s easy to laugh at other people’s eccentricities but we all need love and happiness in our lives.
In my early twenties, I believed my marriage would last forever. Sadly, it didn’t after 20 something years.
Single second time around, while we may not reach that Golden Wedding moment, we all have the possibility for finding love again.
It seems that its never to late
but, maybe Id prefer to find that single man who’s a little closer to my own age group.

#dating #Valentinesday #findingloveinthesupermarketaisles

Love Among the Muesli

Supermarket dating.  I always wondered what it was and how do you chat up a man over a supermarket trolley?

Do you corner him in the fruit and veg aisle or near the undies, knicker and thongs- buy 2 -get 1 free.
So I did a little research.

Shopping for your dinner, and a new partner, brings a heady mix of passion and practicality to the normally mundane grocery run.” Speaking as someone who does such runs frequently, no amount of passion, practicality or heady mix of the two will ever make me enjoy this chore,  single or attached. Replacing everyday items with heart-shaped frilly red Valentine tat doesn’t improve the mood either.

“All you have to do is find a supermarket near you running the free dating night and find out what the single signal is.” Simple enough – although I’ve never noticed any adverts in ourSainsburys/Tesco/Waitrose locals .  Admittedly when supermarket shopping, I’m on auto-pilot, but I’m guessing it would need to be a subtle single signal which is perhaps why I’ve missed it. A large neon sign flashing “Still Single After 10 Years? Date Night Here Tuesday Aisle 7” would be tactless and counter-productive. People have their pride.

“In some cases a different coloured shopping basket alerts other singles to your intentions” Ah, that’s easier to understand though bit tricky in stores where all baskets are silver wire? Bit tricky too for anyone colour-blind or absent-minded; picking up red for Too Hot to Handle instead of green for Sensitive and Ecologically Aware  – or vice versa – might lead to that kind of conversational gap my generation was brought up to fill. Or perhaps an adventure? You never know. Do you carry the basket as normal or is there a special grip, like a masonic handshake?

 strategically-placed cereal boxes as a sign of availability. Right. Strategically-placed where exactly? Not near the cereals obviously – Strategically-placed like a fig leaf then? Surely not – even I would have noticed that.

Clearly more research needed and Valentines day is probably a good time to reconnoitre so, during the next grocery run, if you see someone lurking in the cereals aisle with a basket full of knickers, it may be me.








#dating #dinnerdate finding love on TV


Dinner Date Decides Your Mate

 With several friends and acquaintances newly single, as we now delicately call it, my attention has been drawn to TV match-making and dating programmes. Hmm… Must admit, were I re-launching on the dating scene again at this mature age, I wouldn”t choose to do it on national TV. Hats off to those who do, but…crikey. I”d be looking up matchmaking agencies and internet dating sites, licketty-split!

For research purposes, I watched ITV2″s Dinner Dates which was introduced by a sponsoring advert showing pretty pearly feet in you-know-what-me-shoes but, dearie me, not preparing for a date – advertising modern version of corn plasters. Sets the romantic tone a treat.

Format was: single chap selects three menus then meets lady claiming responsibility. There were actually five menus from which to choose. We never found out what happened to the unchosen two (poised with a potato peeler awaiting a summons which never came?) nor why they didn”t make the grade. Actually, their menus were rather a giveaway: King Prawn Risotto with Pink Champagne (Key ingredient? Accompanying tipple? It wasn”t clear) followed by Individual Beef Wellingtons with Onion Gravy. Didn’t appeal. Nor was Our Man sure about what the other menu offered. “Grilled halloumi? Some sort of fish?”

So off he went to dine with Sheryl, “I”m looking for someone active”, first seen punching the daylights out of her gym trainer. Next was Beverley who apparently levitates people in her living room and last, jolly Camilla who strongly resembled someone I dislike (not her fault) and mixed up her identical plates & place mats, serving pudding on the latter. Suspect some drink had been taken by this time and they both laughed a lot. Much more than warranted, hence my suspicions about the booze.

Possibly through editing or a tight budget, each dating モバイル カジノ occasion seemed rushed. Once spoon hit pudding bowl, the taxi was at the door and that was it, no time to find out more about Beverley”s paranormal interests or Camilla”s lodgers. No coffee either – which I”d resent.

All three single ladies then dressed to the nines to discover their fate – or reward, depending on your point of view. The winning lady was treated to “a romantic dinner” at a posh restaurant (programme”s description) Dunno how really posh it was but they appeared to be the only diners there, possibly unromantically very early evening?  I guessed the winner knew she’d clicked when she answered the door ready to go complete with handbag.

Programme definitely biased towards the man who enjoyed four dinners he hadn’t cooked. The unlucky (again, depending on your point of view) two ladies received a knock on the front door and a trolley with a silver cover hiding what looked in Camilla”s case like a seriously nasty ready meal. Give her credit, she was staunch & jolly to the last, heroically choking down King Prawn Paella with Chicken and Chorizo (I took notes) while obviously thinking I got dressed up for this?

Joking aside, I have reservations about programmes like this. Goodness sakes, finding a life companion is tricky enough without forcing limitations like three courses in which to decide. All credit to the participants, who seemed genuine and pleasant, but if they really want to find someone special, a reputable dating site would give them more privacy and time.