Love Among the Muesli
Supermarket dating. I always wondered what it was and how do you chat up a man over a supermarket trolley?
Do you corner him in the fruit and veg aisle or near the undies, knicker and thongs- buy 2 -get 1 free.
So I did a little research.
“Shopping for your dinner, and a new partner, brings a heady mix of passion and practicality to the normally mundane grocery run.” Speaking as someone who does such runs frequently, no amount of passion, practicality or heady mix of the two will ever make me enjoy this chore, single or attached. Replacing everyday items with heart-shaped frilly red Valentine tat doesn’t improve the mood either.
“All you have to do is find a supermarket near you running the free dating night and find out what the single signal is.” Simple enough – although I’ve never noticed any adverts in ourSainsburys/Tesco/Waitrose locals . Admittedly when supermarket shopping, I’m on auto-pilot, but I’m guessing it would need to be a subtle single signal which is perhaps why I’ve missed it. A large neon sign flashing “Still Single After 10 Years? Date Night Here Tuesday Aisle 7” would be tactless and counter-productive. People have their pride.
“In some cases a different coloured shopping basket alerts other singles to your intentions” Ah, that’s easier to understand though bit tricky in stores where all baskets are silver wire? Bit tricky too for anyone colour-blind or absent-minded; picking up red for Too Hot to Handle instead of green for Sensitive and Ecologically Aware – or vice versa – might lead to that kind of conversational gap my generation was brought up to fill. Or perhaps an adventure? You never know. Do you carry the basket as normal or is there a special grip, like a masonic handshake?
“ strategically-placed cereal boxes as a sign of availability. Right. Strategically-placed where exactly? Not near the cereals obviously – Strategically-placed like a fig leaf then? Surely not – even I would have noticed that.
Clearly more research needed and Valentines day is probably a good time to reconnoitre so, during the next grocery run, if you see someone lurking in the cereals aisle with a basket full of knickers, it may be me.